The Second Time Around

Conversation Partner Meeting (2)

Scheduling a meeting with my partner was much easier this week! We picked our usual, if you can call two meetings usual, meeting spot, Union Grounds.  We’re still getting to know each other so I keep learning new things about him. For example, he lives with his cousin who is the same age and is also in the program. Along with several other students in the program, they explore the DFW area.  He has so much to say about the places he has been around here and his idea of the best restaurants. For those of you who are curious, Arlington is the place to go for Saudi Arabian cuisine. But, I did learn that they go out to eat often because he cannot cook – he leaves it all up to his cousin. But, when his cousin cooks, he Skypes his mom and follows her directions! I thought this was so funny and relatable. While he quickly explained it is because in his culture women do not work, I found it funny for different reasons. I know that when my brother goes to college he will be helpless. My mom still makes her eighteen-year-old son snacks!

If there is one thing about my conversation partner it is his love for movies. He is a huge movie buff and appreciates quality directors, actors, and producers. Christopher Nolan (Dark Night) is among his favorites. We usually spend the majority of our meetings talking about movies – he knows so many! He doesn’t waste time on movies that have below a 7/10 on IMDB. So while some of my favorite movies are your typical romantic comedies with the predictable ending, these movies will never meet his list.  At the same time, we do share some favorites. Either way, I’ve left the meetings with movies that I would like to see. Movie conversations led us to celebrities. Somehow crazy celebrity children names came up. We’ve all heard the crazy ones that come from American celebrities (Apple, Blue Ivy, Pilot Inspektor, Buddy Bear). But, my parent shared with me that this is prevalent in his culture too. He found the celebrity baby name of Banana (but in Arabic) hilarious. I think it is so interesting to see the similarities and differences in our humor, movie preferences, and family relations. 

Later Reflections on '50 Funniest'

               Reading Andy Borowitz’s idea of the fifty funniest American writers causes me to question my own idea of funny stories. While I have laughed at several of the stories, the majority did not have me laughing throughout. Before class even started, I could hear people discussing the readings and the humor they found in it. Did I miss something insanely humorous?! Yes, some of the stories are interesting and have funny parts, but there have only been a select few that I really enjoyed.

                For example, I enjoyed the first reading for today – “A Few Words about Breasts” by Nora Ephron. Her reflections on a mainstream insecurity for the middle school girl and the women in her situation were hysterical. Her story was entirely relatable for me. The best way to put it is that I grew up with two older sisters who are much more developed than me. My sisters and mother teased me to the same extent that Nora’s mother did, maybe even further. I think the fact that I could relate to parts of Nora’s insecurity made the story funny. Also, I can always find humor in awkward situations (when it’s not happening to me, which is often). Nora experienced so many of these situations with her giant insecurity. I especially enjoyed all her attempts to ‘develop’ – Mark Eden Bust Developer, slept on her back for four years, splashed cold water on them, and the ever popular padded bra. Nora kept me laughing and I appreciate that.

                The other humorous reading for today’s class would be Donald Barthelme’s “In the Morning Post.” I loved his added commentary and thoughts on his drinking habits. Donald was funny from start to finish in this short piece. He happily notes he is promoted to “Top Writer” then is shocked that Writer’s Digest labeled him as a drinker. Just the way he phrases things had me laughing. A couple of my favorites are listed below:

• “But how the devil did Writer’s Digest discover this?’
• “List of my vodka-soaked work”
• "Light is sissy and Heavy doesn’t go down so well with Deans...”
•  “Also, in bed, sobbing lightly.”
•    “Thought to be sober as white bread”

Donald’s story was just what I needed to read before the last two – “Tough as Bob War and Other Stuff,” and “Gothic Baseball.” While I enjoyed parts of these stories, I didn’t find the story as a whole humorous. I was able to find certain parts funny but I feel like that can be done in most stories. I don’t know if it is the selections we are reading or the overall book I’m not finding extremely humorous.

So, I am a little disappointed, Andy Borowitz. We have different humor and while I appreciate some of your choices, I don’t agree with all. 

Take Away The Comic Relief

   John Morreall offers a “comprehensive philosophy of humor.” While the reading might not have been extremely interesting, there were some things to take away from the reading.

   The greatest thing worth remembering is to laugh. Laughter itself provides so many benefits, whether that be physical or emotional.  According to Morreall, “comedy fosters a more rational, crucial, creative attitude that is more adaptive.” It is important to remember that there are health benefits to laughter. After laughter, “the stress chemicals epinephrine, norepinephrine, cortisol, and DOPAC are reduced, along with muscle tension, blood pressure, and heart rate” (Morreall 81). Additionally, laughter reduces “heart rate, blood pressure, muscle tension, and stress chemicals” (Morreall 66). Humor can also be used in conflict. It helps reduce “defensiveness but diffuses conflict” (Morreall 117). From personal experience, moments of tension can be broken from laughter. Sometimes, we let ourselves become carried away in tense moments and laughter can snap you back to reality.  If laughing can provide all of these benefits, I think it important to remember to laugh and laugh often.

   Another important thing to remember is the negative ethics of humor. I think it is so important to realize that while humor has many benefits it has negative effects. While Morreall points out the eight traditional negative ethics in Chapter Five, there are certain ones that stand out to me. Morreall’s first point, ‘humor is insincere,’ is so prevalent in today’s society. Many times I have heard outlandish comments with a “just kidding” tacked on the end. There are times when people genuinely are kidding, but there are times when they are not. Either way, these comments come off as insincere and hurt other people. The other harmful effect that stands out to me is the way humor “disengages us cogniftively from the object of amusement.”  Morreall shares different views “that the tellers of sexist and racist jokes promote prejudice”(Morreall 105). While I do not agree with Morreall on all points, I agree that sexist and racist jokes will always hurts someone. But, I believe that almost any joke can hurt someone. Any laughter done out of spite is damaging. So, while laughing is beneficial, you must know its limits.

  The last important thing I pulled from Comic Relief was the comic wisdom pulled from the last chapter. Morreall breaks down his comic wisdom in ten points. Below I listed the ones I find most meaningful.

1.       Don’t be like these comic butts. Instead, be honest about your strengths and weaknesses, and show integrity in how you talk and act.

3.       Be wary of people trying to persuade you to think or act in a way that will benefit them.

4.       When you face a problem avoid anger, resentment, and self-pity. Keep your cool and think.

6.       Each person counts for one. Everybody has a perspective, a story to tell, a contribution to make.

I feel like this are important reminders that I could use in my daily life. It is easy to get caught up in life and the moment but taking a step back and remembering these things could diffuse conflicts. I'm taking away these three main ideas from Comic Relief as things to remember. 

Off To An Embarrassing Start

     As you all know, we are scheduled to meet with conversation partners.Given a name, e-mail, and phone number, I was prepared to make the first step in contacting Hashim. I sent him a quick e-mail telling him who I was and trying to schedule days. I waited a few days and sent him a quick text, once again letting him know who I was and trying to figure out days. But how long do you wait for someone to text you?! I ended up waiting 12 hours (receiving a response at 12:30 AM!) before receiving the simple text 'You have the wrong number, sorry. I am not hashim.' Certainly an embarrassing moment for me. I had already e-mailed the coordinator saying I was having trouble contacting Hashim and here I am texting the wrong number! And to top it all off, Hashim e-mailed the following morning with a quick note and apologizing for the late reply. After all this mess on my part, Hashim and I e-mailed about where we were to meet up (I wasn't going to deal with texting yet).

The Meet Up

    We had decided to meet up at Union Grounds after class. I wanted our first meeting to be a general get-to-know you meeting. While waiting for him, I started to worry that we wouldn't be able to recognize each other. My worries disappeared when Hashim walked up and we made direct eye contact. We started talking and sharing the basics-name, age, hometown, siblings, and of course, why TCU. Hashim is from Saudi Arabia with two younger siblings at home. He first learned about TCU from his uncle and cousin, they both came from Saudi Arabia to go to school here.  I was genuinely surprised at how well the conversation flowed and how much we have in common. We share the same age, movie interests, and major (after he completes the English program). Hashim spoke about the program he is in and his future plans. I was surprised at how rigorous the program seemed--they have so many presentations! Hashim is nearing the end of the program and will be complete once he scores a little higher on speaking. We talked for about an hour before I needed to leave. I'm curious to talk again with Hashim and see what more I can learn about him, his culture, and his lifestyle